The No Fun Zone

In Which what am i supposed to write here?

May 11th, 2009
Hanover, New Hampshire

Local buttface Cole Ott still has the video camera which had previously been used to film the No Fun Zone. Said Parker, the No Fun Zone’s totally-available host:

Crap.

April 20th, 2009
Hanover, New Hampshire

News broke today that a purely objective, scientific, double-blind study proved conclusively that Cole is a Jerk.

Said Dr. White of the Hanover Institute of We Know a Jerk When We See One:

It’s Conclusive. Big-time jerkface.

This report is especially groundbreaking in the wake of a statement made by the National Global Institute of Awesome (And Single) Dudes, naming active anti-jerk advocate Parker the Chief Awesome Officer for the Fall Quarter. Parker plans to organize a working group of leaders from diverse fields to “understand the fundamental causes for jerk. Then kick their butts.”

“The Institute is advising that all people, especially hot chix, keep away from Cole,” said Parker, in an emergency press release this morning. He further advised that all co-hosts of awesome internet TV shows “not let him mess up the intro again.”

Local totes hawt student Jane Doe had this to say:

I always suspected that Cole might be a Jerk… but now that it’s been proven I’ll be sure to never date him ever. Plus Parker is much hotter anyway. Plus he’s better dressed. Also he smells good and has edgy hair.

In which it is so over.

In which we nosh.

In which we describe the history of the Mohawks, the youngest recognized tribe in the United States of Native America.

In which you like the way we move.

In which we can’t find Cole’s roommate.

In which snowpersons are liberated.

In which we are soooo cool.